Gay and Dead

by Trial of the Golden Witch

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about

When our tower above the earth fell, we found ourselves back on the ground, lower than ever before, deader than Christ and gayer than God. Not to mention fatter than the devil--fat and dangerous, at that. This is an album about coming to terms with your brokenness and no longer seeing it as something painful, but just kind of hilarious.

credits

released June 30, 2017

Beats by MZShaidu, blindskywatcher, Chi-chi, Hideaki Kobayashi
Raps by Digibro, Endless Jess

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Trial of the Golden Witch Virginia Beach, Virginia

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Track Name: Broken Brilliance
Please do not speak to me between 3 and 8 AM
I can't relate to you humans
On any terms but my own
Defined by my lifestyle and how I've grown
I gladly postpone my meetings with the daylight
So I can fight my demons by the moonlight
I might be a sailor scout, but not quite Tha Coolest Guy
You try to define me and find me shy;
But not from self-destruction
Pressing that button, that is my limited function

I couldn't be any gayer and deader if I tried
Sucking dick and committing suicide
I have no pride, no shame, and no scruples
Tho I don't hide, don't Bane-post, or shoot schools
Just eat noodles, and say nigga more than anyone else
I have no good excuses for myself
I am not what you wanted to hear
Unless your whole world's gotten too fuckin' weird:
That's when I will appear
And tell you it's all fucked
Just give it all up and come play in the muck
That I'm draggin' on up from the sewers and sprayin'
All over on everyone--yuck!

I'm kinda like a superhero, with all the powers of Brother Nero
Got that broken brilliance; once you die inside then it all starts to make sense.
Track Name: Paradise (in name only) [Ft. Endless Jess]
[Digibro]
Please don't tell me this is paradise
I've been dreaming something much more nice
If this is all there is then why fight?
Please don't say your endgame is my life
It's not right

Caveat Emptor to all who admire me
I know I'd fire me if I had ever hired me
And I mean by firing squad, I'm gayer than god
And deserve to be deader than a dorknob
Fat slob, but I quit smokin'
So I won't be chokin' on anything other than dick for a while
Never been in style
Stayed actin' like somethin' of a prick, and it's riled up
Some punks who act like I stabbed someone
Just cause I gave a 1 to their favorite show
Do you even know what is an opinion?
Objectivity doesn't exist, I told you a million times
There is no rule to rhyme, no design
Only what you decide that you like at this time
And I hate myself
So don't emulate me unless your better with self-help

[Endless Jess]
a trillion fans ain’t worth a damn,
they ain’t worth one friend i can call “my man”
ambition is living how others won’t for a vision and a mission getting what others don’t,
but that’s missing the mark
giving every spark makes your heart dark
ambition is a prison, not a walk in the park

i’ve had best friends tell me that they envy me,
and look with jealousy like I’m the enemy

like I’m a rival,
but man you aint a rival to me,
I’m feiviel, my survival through miles of trials would be tragedy
if not for the fact that I’m getting back to my family
nothing else helps so it’s hell to have you mad at me

cause I’m broken, i don’t know how long its been
since i’ve seen the sun or filled my lungs with oxygen

i’m too far gone, i’d take norminess over this
gotta check the pulse in my wrist just to know i exist
Track Name: Fallen to Pieces
I drank half a case of Tecate
So I could get sloppy enough to do my job properly
I'm probably the only psychopath who works this constantly
But I don't know how else to be, and nobody is stopping me
I get frustrated, stating that I hate it
But still getting berated and told I am overrated
Well I guess fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you
I don't need you to tell me what I can't do
I'm the king of the jungle, I run this zoo
Now get out of my cage or I'll start slingin' poo

Pee Yoo that's a stank ass rhyme
Yes I know I'm cringe, that is by design
I don't hide from my feelings
I'm no good at dealing with
My self-image, so I stay fringe-scrimaged twenty-four-seven
I need one of those Frankenstein girls from the seven-eleven
Who stays up all night and knows the right way to heaven
And I'm quite alright if she is less than a seven
Just as long as her taste ain't shit

Yeah that ain't no bit
The last chick I was with made me sit through some bullshit
And I am legit an elitist prick
Who won't stick my dick in no idiots
Unless they live in convenient driving distance
My sex life is not a thriving business
Probably because I have such ire
For every single person aged zero or higher

I admire not heroes but an hero
My life is a scene from Apocalypse Zero
My strife is obscene and is not endearing
When I sing, people scream, and demand that I go
Believe me like you don't even know
How much I wouldn't be here if could just throw
All my stuff in a bag and be on the road
To the edge of the earth, and jump in a black hole

Kill me
Track Name: Gayer Than God
I'm bigger than your motha fuckin' life, son
Flow's a little tight, hon, lemme loose you up
With a couple a buds and get fun for a minute
I'm not someone who's humdrum for a minute
I can stuff a whole umbrella up my asshole
Walk out onto the beach and shit a fun day whole
Lay out in the sun till I'm boiled tasty
Have me in your throat because I know you like to taste me
You know you can't go veggie up on that fake meat
When you got this steak up on your plate you wanna lick clean
Stick me in your pipe or roll me up cause I'm your dank meme
Imbibe on my mind and body, I'm your wine and water be-
Side you in your soul growin' old with your heart gold
Bet you didn't know that I sold; that my untold
Bounty could be not mold, crisp and developed
Blow up on my cella cause I'm hella mella yella
I'm gayer than god.

Can't no concept on any macrocosmic scale touch this
I'm beyond your comprehension already don't rush this
Your life's in a rut, bitch? You feel out of touch, kid?
Hit this mach 11 with me and let's get fucked up then
I don't know how to sit around bored, be nothin'
I gotta be frontin' least until the stuntin'
Come natural, factually I trained harder
To be me than you ever practiced looking harder
The true gods they be bred not born
Thru cosmic coincidence they transform
And storm up the pearly gates with all they complaints
Hollerin' out, "God it's time for rebates"
And we ain't gonna warn 'fore the shots ring out
We pushed Christ and the devil right up out of town
And now I sit, firmly, in control of this bitch
Chillin' out on the throne with my fist to chin
I'm gayer than god.
Track Name: Buttfuckers Anthem
Im an ass man, living in a trash can
flies layin eggs in my dick, save me lord sans
once i get inside your vagine
gonna populate it with a million of my little guys
gonna stuff that muff get rough cause you’re tough
and don’t take no guff, you like real weird stuff
and I’m down to clown on your mound of brown
when i pound that frown till it’s upside down
I’m a good boy--and my dick has power
it makes you feel happy when your day’s been sour
Sittin’ there at work, bored, countin’ down the hours
‘Till I come pick you up, get you back in my shower
And get fuckin’ obliterated, fuckin’ obtuse
I got an all-access pass to your caboose
Where I pump my juice until I black out, fried
I tried being gay, but I already died

I’M THE GOD OF ASS
YOU DON’T HAVE TO ASK
YOU CAN SEE THE EFFECT THAT A DUNK ASS HAS
WHEN YOU CRUSH MY BONE
AND YOU HEAR ME MOAN
I CONDONE HOW YOU TREAT MY COCK WHEN I’M PRONE
SO GET ON THE DICK
WHILE I RUB YOUR CLIT
I GOTTA ADMIT THAT PRESSURE’S PERFECT
WHEN YOU RIDE MY ROD
I BECOME GOD
SMITING ALL THE WORLD WITH A SINGLE THOUGHT

I’m gonna grind your behind ‘till your mind rewinds
Back in time to the line where I said you’re mine
For all time--you go blind as the senses blitz
All our chakras align when I bite your tits
And jizz all over everything in the room
A monsoon blasting sheets off the bed, and soon
Your heads’ covered in goo, but you lick it all clean
Cause you still got me beat on the sheer obscene
Twiddle your bean as my thick cream rolls
Down your cute cheekbones, and you grab on my body rolls
So I can get real deep and keep your knees weak
Hit the peak as you scream my name back at me

I’M THE GOD OF ASS
YOU DON’T HAVE TO ASK
YOU CAN SEE THE EFFECT THAT A DUNK ASS HAS
WHEN YOU CRUSH MY BONE
AND YOU HEAR ME MOAN
I CONDONE HOW YOU TREAT MY COCK WHEN I’M PRONE
SO GET ON THE DICK
WHILE I RUB YOUR CLIT
I GOTTA ADMIT THAT PRESSURE’S PERFECT
WHEN YOU RIDE MY ROD
I BECOME GOD
SMITING ALL THE WORLD WITH A SINGLE THOUGHT
Track Name: Freak Power!
What ya'll mothafuckas don't recognize
is that I am terrified
marginalized, 'til right on the line
and just waiting to get pushed
So I can push back
Harder than ya'll ever thought to attack
I'm ruthless, with no tact
Just a wild cat
With enough fat
For the blowback
So know that
When you come at
Me I'm on edge
With a honed edge
That is bone dense
And I'm no friend
To a punk-ass with nothin' but sass
Who scoffs at the crass
Some upper-class wannabes,
Haughty bigots with no zazz

I'm classically trained in fuckin' ya brains
A lord of the strange, deranged, and the fuckin' insane
I'm changin' the game, so put some damn respek on my name
Or get flamed when I'm fed up with the train of cliches

Condescened to me if you would like to swallow your teeth
I'll keep this brief: go fuck yourself -let it breathe-
Try to big league me, and I'll go straight to the big league
By which I mean a baseball bat to each of your knees

That's how it goes when the freaks get mean
Drop the pig's blood, and it's death by CDs
You're a disease--and I got the antidote
It's a goat-headed man with a knife at your throat

That's freak power

---

Every single person who has told you that you couldn't
Lives in fear that you'll achieve the things in life they think you shouldn't
Hearing that was like a bullet to the temporal lobe
Tellin' me I'm not alone, speedin' down that lonely road
Out to where I thought I belonged
Now I proved that I did
And I'm shittin' on the people that I knew as a kid
Anyone who said I couldn't, bitch I already did
And I'll do it all again just so I can rub it in
Your narrow scope on reality gettin' spread so thin
The banality of your frivality been sinkin in
Where I been? Oh just over here, countin' my tens
Watching you over there wonderin' where the time went
I bided mine till I blew up
The only way you screwed up, was tryin' not to screw up
I took the risk and knew what
Would come if I stayed true ta
Myself and what I wanted
The life I held so vaunted
It's healthy to be haunted

(Obviously one of the things that I have to think... I have to appreciate about America--that if I couldn't I'd be stupid or insane, is that uh... for good or ill... I can function here. And, uh... I don't think there are many societies or social, political systems, where I could function the way I am now. And perhaps a lotta people would think that's much better; that's the best argument for destroying the system--it gets rid of people like me.)
Track Name: The Bunker [ft. Endless Jess]
Living in an underground bunker
Junkers come here
Don't fear the queer shit
Living in my basement
Drink another beer, slick
Take a lick of my stick
Lemme cum inside real quick
With my bruised dick

My throat been closed by the dust and the mold
That I choked on, hoped undone by a glass of water
But there's lead in the taps and the need for slaughter
Got me on the attack, coming for your daughter
Take her out to my shack, and then buy a ring
To bind her to me, for all time and being
And populate her womb with my demon seed
To propogate my sick and evil species
I am the disease infecting the system
Spreading an illegal strain of dark wisdom
Training your kids all to be just like me
So that I can lead them into purgatory
Do not speak of me, bitch I'm too potent
Try to quote me, motherfucker, you'll choke and
Caugh out your soul, now it's riding the boat down
To where the ferryman leaves all the jokes, damn - nation

Living in an underground bunker
Junkers come here
Don't fear the queer shit
Living in my basement
Drink another beer, slick
Take a lick of my stick
Lemme cum inside real quick
With my bruised dick

[Jess]
laying on my sick cot
in the pit got shit rot
in my souls butthole and my dick clots
blood till my thick cock’s sore and engorged
but you heard it all before in that rotten lore
sick bars
radioactive Sars
STARS
I died and evolved to the Nemesis
G-Virus better hide all your relatives
pestilent, I’m infecting them
all your best friends and all the rest of them
I’m toxic and I’m pissed off got a sick cough
and to rock your cock is my master plan
put headphones on your ball sack
you need a small rap for your fat chode and i wrote that
slow clap for my sap Brokeback Splash Mountain
filling your sack with my saplings, count them
now I’m everybody and I’m everybody’s problem

[Digi]
Living in an underground bunker
Junkers come here
Don't fear the queer shit
Living in my basement
Drink another beer, slick
Take a lick of my stick
Lemme cum inside real quick
With my bruised dick

I'm an evil man, bad bad not good
Stompin' thru your hood like a bad man would
Stuffin' all your chicks full of hard red wood
Choppin off the heads of the pure and good

[Jess]
Everybody hates me I don’t give a hoot
I’ll pull your asshole out by the root
swing you around in a poopy loop
then plant you into the ground like Baby Groot

[Digi]
You better scoot'cha boot, before I have to shoot
My ropes into ya soup, and give you what I got
A little shit rot mixed with a lot of bad attitude
Steppin to my tunes, and I'll bring the worst outta you

[Jess]
I dig your brains with an ice cream scoop
I dig your asshole and eat your poop
I’m gonna take your soul and your dirty diapers
smear it all around like windshield wipers

[Digi]
Hungry for life, and I'm takin' yours
Mangled your flesh in my hungry jaws
Internalize the message, the monster's gettin' restless
So if you won't be headless, then lock your doors!

[Jess]
I keep severed tits in an ice box
and a hollowed out dick on my dick like a tight sock
I’m a gay and dead faggot from hell
what’s my catchphrase? What’s that smell?
Track Name: Quarter
Overprotected
Now I'm disaffected
Quarter-centennial
Still feelin' like a kid
Treated like I know shit
Already a pro, this
Lightness is unbearable
I didn't even notice

I been so back in the back of my mind
All of a sudden, whoa, look at the time
Comin' up offa that triplet rhyme
So I can define how it sounds when its mine
Seen too much when I toked that blunt
I had a little hunch, but it blew up bigger
And I know your trigger so back the fuck up
I'll use it as a gun when you strap the fuck up
Prep for the comments with a bullet belt
Twitter integration was a trip thru hell
You sound a little better when I push the pipe down
Steady in my crosshair when you choose to write down
The wrong lines, now you gotta pay fines
Starting with your life lines, pay my respects
To the lords of hell when they got you by the neck
Tell 'em you were sent by the gayest of the dead

Overprotected
Now I'm disaffected
Quarter-centennial
Still feelin' like a kid
Treated like I know shit
Already a pro, this
Lightness is unbearable
I didn't even notice

I only know death when it niggles at my mind
I'm blind to the kind of stress that still binds
Most peers to the Earth in their tiny spaces
Never see me out in those open places
My gonzo nose it can seek a trueness
I've gone so long only feeling useless
I don't wanna come back home again
'Till I round that age up towards the next ten

Overprotected
Now I'm disaffected
Quarter-centennial
Still feelin' like a kid
Treated like I know shit
Already a pro, this
Lightness is unbearable
I didn't even notice
Track Name: Space Chillin' (interlude)
I'm relaxin
So drop that shit about factions
I'm not actions
I want release
And a free lease
To be peachy keen
With no yung lean
But my ugly mane
Gone insane, like I like it
I connect best when it's frightening
I'm told I should do the right thing
But I look up to alternatives
So I'll burn the bridge
And keep writing
Do not come to me biting
Do not call me a white thing
I'm done with all the infighting
East coast and I'm down south
So I'm slow mouthed when I'm thinking
Need a moment to sing along? I'll leave
Silence here for your breathing

No auto-tune access, so this chorus might not be lit
Give me just a moment, I'm gon' blast off in a bit

That was a just test to make sure you're paying attention
To this weapon that I'm settin' up and gettin' ready to fire it
Track Name: Fat And Dangerous
I thought I couldn't get any bigger than 180 but baby
I'm neckin' beers like Colt Corona, goin' crazy
My persona ain't no gimmick, I'm in it, pushin' my limit
Like tellin' me alcoholism ain't a joke, bitch, isn't it?
Nothing could be funnier than death,
And the scent that's on my breath
Once I vomit up the Arby's that I walked to get
Cause I was too drunk to turn the car key
Lemme give you some advice before you say I'm unhealthy

I'M GAYER THAN GOD, AND I'M DEADER THAN CHRIST
I'M FATTER THAN THE DEVIL, AND I DON'T PLAY NICE
COME FUCKIN' WITH MY FLOW AND YOU GON' GET ICED
SO DON'T ASK ME FOR SHIT, YOU WON'T GET WHAT YOU LIKE
FAT AND DANGEROUS

Gangrous, and bloated, overloaded
On malt liquor, gettin' sicker, but I own it
Don't need you to condone it, or phone it
Just run far away
Cause I'm stompin' through today, on whatever's in my way
'Till the day I'm well laid and well paid I'm gonna stay
Fat and dangerous and strange and abrasive with pain
Got no shame, that's my game, and I'm playin' for keeps
You don't never have to look up if you wanna be me

I'M GAYER THAN GOD, AND I'M DEADER THAN CHRIST
I'M FATTER THAN THE DEVIL, AND I DON'T PLAY NICE
COME FUCKIN' WITH MY FLOW AND YOU GON' GET ICED
SO DON'T ASK ME FOR SHIT, YOU WON'T GET WHAT YOU LIKE
FAT AND DANGEROUS

Please deep fry my whole life
Clean these botflies from my lemonpipe
And tell Stripe I want that quarter back
So my fat ass pockets can break my Wii Fit stats
If I knew how to act, I would not be this thrashed
Why aint' flasks of reasonable size?
I don't wanna be able to see outta these eyes
I want the liquor blockin' out the mirror sight
And if I could just die blissed out, that's alright
Nothin' about life ever gonna make sense
So I gotta dispense all the cents I got left
On the few things I like, all the bringers of death
Suicide - the result of the things I ingest, it's the best

I'M GAYER THAN GOD, AND I'M DEADER THAN CHRIST
I'M FATTER THAN THE DEVIL, AND I DON'T PLAY NICE
COME FUCKIN' WITH MY FLOW AND YOU GON' GET ICED
SO DON'T ASK ME FOR SHIT, YOU WON'T GET WHAT YOU LIKE
FAT AND DANGEROUS
Track Name: Nihilistic Suburban Void
Tell me what I'm meant to do
This town ain't the same for you
Someone only passing through
Someone with an idea of
Where they have been coming from
I have nothing of the sort
I've been here for much too long
For having been an import
But from where I am not sure
Never of my own accord
Would I place me on this world
Little that I recognize
Much less that I understand
About what is going on
Living in this foreign land

IT'S A NIHILISTIC SUBURBAN VOID
FLIP A COIN TO DECIDE, THE MEANING DEVOID
THERE IS NO REASON NOT TO BE PARANOID
YOU CANNOT BUILD ON THIS, IT MUST BE DESTROYED

WHEN THE WAVES CRASH ON THE SHORE AND
WASH ME OUT INTO THE SEA
YOU'LL KNOW BY IF I'M DRIFTING BACK
IF THIS WAS WHERE I EVER SHOULD BE

No one living here for long
Not a land for standing on
Sail away now and stay strong
Do not die not anyone

I WILL GO AND TAKE YOU WITH ME
I WILL RUN OUT TO THE CITIES
OUT THE VOID OF GAY AND DEAD
SEND ME SOMEWHERE FOR MY HEAD
Track Name: Body Rolls
Six bottle deep someone tell me just where i oughtta go
i donno where to put my dick in all these body rolls
You say to go to there but i dunno what you dunno
believe me, i can't see me, if i could i'd see me gross

Everybody know me, but you dunno what I'm bout

Everybody know that I talk much
Sift thru the chalk dust, calk much
Try not to hold my life up to snuff with a bunch
Of ideas that I crunch into
Self-help stunts that could not be more bluntly crunk
I'm a skunk with a hearta gold
Never fold, never break, only bend, into shapes
That I always wanna take
Never fake, bitches cake me and try to eat my skate
But I stay clean, me, mean, free, killin, shyyt
I'm a freak but I seek other meak and discreet messages
I'm a kid just in search of truth
And my youth don't scoot as my age give boot
to my fruit-less con-quest, bullet-proof vest
that is suburbian living
Until the shotgun to my brain shivving
But no fucks will be given
To the monstrous villain that is real world livin
Suicide is my only friend
It connects us all broken in the end
Red beers hoist me up, get me thru the muk
My red face run amok, as I test my luck
Against the fuccbois that are
Runnin this go-kart
Take me to the train car
From that book, or from Aria
My sweet guardian, my escape from this place
Of which I am done, I want fun
And to be alone
Don't encroach on my brand new home
Just let me phone in all the prone dome
Shit I'm alone, no place is home
You can't fake chrome, I can't make no
Promises How I Live Is None Of Your Business
And That's Just How It Is Bitch, I Wish I Could Witness Bliss
But I'm fisted, straight and listed gay like a dead man
God is the magistrate
Track Name: Day Dreamer (Sad Gay Boy)
The sun is coming up, but I've been awake all night
I'd love to see the day, but I gotta say goodbye
My weary, bleary eyes, they can't handle all the light
So don't wake me 'till it's starry out and I can be alright

I've never gotten sleep at the right time
Never matched a beat on every line
I'm always kinda off, biorhythmically
So my melody lines are a little bit oblique
But I know how to flip stress into pure bliss
I know how to make records out of bullshit
I know I've got the lines to connect my truth
And I find some power in mistakes of youth
Can't stay on the same flow 24-7
I gotta let you know when I've found a new heaven
I feel a little gay and a little dead-headed
Waiting for a call that can break a bad habit
Never let a second of the phone hang off
Never give an inch they could ever take off
Keep it all close to the chest, my dawgs
Never let me stray from the sun too long

The sun is coming up, but I've been awake all night
I'd love to see the day, but I gotta say goodbye
My weary, bleary eyes, they can't handle all the light
So don't wake me 'till it's starry out and I can be alright

Catch a deep breath when I wake up scared
Sweating through my shirt cause I'm hot with fear
Had another dream where the wrong one's there
Jumped up with a scream till I wiped my tears
Feel a little low like a sad gay boy
Get up on the mic so I can make noise
Gotta let me ride that beat out, rub that skeet out
Get some food and feel choice
Then I'm gonna work or I'm gonna get turnt
Screamin' on the mic like "how'd it get burned?"
Do another take till I can't feel my throat
Find another heart to which mine can devote
I am much gayer and deader than god
Trial of the Golden Witch never fall off
Sun comin' up, so I gotta go to bed
Won't be up tomorrow cause I'm already dead

The sun is coming up, but I've been awake all night
I'd love to see the day, but I gotta say goodbye
My weary, bleary eyes, they can't handle all the light
So don't wake me 'till it's starry out and I can be alright
Track Name: Who The Fuck Is Conrad?
Remember when I was a human being
Who did normal things
That weren't interesting
To anybody but me?
Now I'm living the meme
I don't know how to be me
--They call me: Digibro
Everybody that I know is famous compared to you
We all do youtube, and mix our juju
My whole crew is genius
Anybody who looks can see this

But I wonder of the cost I spent
What I've lost being so relentless
And maybe senseless in my own exile
I'm almost sure I had friends that could make me smile
That I ain't seen in quite a while
I must have touched someone once, and even got wild
But now I'm not sure how long it's been
Since the last time I thought of myself as a good friend
And ties are tough to mend

It's easier to buy a flight than it is to say goodbye
And to go on letting them think of me as the bad guy
I can't cry, cause it's all my fault
But I can't go back after I cleared that vault
I can't change that I've changed completely
Walked with my own feet
There is no real me
I've let my own art completely eat me

I see the East and it's burning read
Like the blood that seeps deep into my bed
And it's fine cause we'll all be dead soon
I'll ride this tide out until the red moon explodes
I know what the future holds
Either it's soon, or it's after I grow old
And I'm not sold on the thought that this soul
Is something I've totally got under my own control

Digibro, that's the life I chose
Ran away from home for the cash, fame, hoes
Staring out to the East, sad
As a commenter asks, "who the fuck is Conrad?"
"I don't know," I respond, stone cold
As the one tear rolls off my gay dead bones
I'm a grown ass man in some grown ass pain
Thinking how I'll never see my old self again