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Jesus Christ, I'm too drunk to even read this back...

This is a song I wrote early into 2014 and released on bandcamp with a series of a capella tracks called Drape On Me Your Veil of Cynicism (Shield Me From This Pain). trialofthegoldenwitch.bandcamp.com/album/d…is-pain The original release was about various internet dramas that I was going through at the time, and every time I find myself in another similar situation, I tend to revisit those songs. This one in particular (originally called Pain.) always springs to mind.

The origin of the song is from getting into fights with people with a sort of victim complex--people who think that because their situation is so much "worse" than everyone else's, they need to be treated differently. As someone who's spent a large part of my life feeling suicidal and not understanding my place in the world, I can't help but be upset when someone acts like because of who I am, I can't empathize with them. I'm willing to acknowledge a huge amount of luck and privilege in my life, but this whole idea that because of who I am, I somehow can't feel the same type or depth of pain that others can, legitimately offends me.

I changed the last line to "fuck off." The original version was a lot more somber sounding, as I felt more like maybe I was really in the wrong; but over time. I've grown more angry and vindictive, feeling like the way that people treat the concept of feeling a pain that others can't relate to really is offensive and aggravating.

Okay time to be drunk elsewhere..

lyrics

Your pain is worth more than mine
Your love is more pure than mine
Your life is realer than mine
I should just die

Your aching hurts more than mine
Your burning eyes start to cry
You think that I'm a bad guy
I should just die

Who am I to hurt you?
Who am I to leave you all alone?
Who am I to hate you?
Who am I to sing you all these songs?

credits

from Soundcloud Rescues, released August 3, 2017
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Trial of the Golden Witch Norfolk, Virginia

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