It's time to open my heart once again
The pen guides the hand to the margin's end
The friends that I've lost have gone up by tens
My feverish rush has sped up and extends
Way beyond what my heart can keep up with
I'm drugged up with so much to be blunt with
What I thunk when I spit three years ago
I was so much less ego and so much more stable
And now it's gone...
I know exactly what I did wrong...

If I could go back, I'd make the same decisions
I've never been the type to stew for long on what I didn't
Do with my time, my life's a line
It's readable, perceivable, immutable, the flow is natural
It started out with the big bang
And it's still going strong on to this day
Even if I'm alone and I'm prone and afraid
Right on the brink, I think, of going insane
I can't say it didn't make sense
That distance was in my nature to best
It crushes down on me now to assess
That maybe I was always doing my best
And I ain't shit--and now I gotta live with it
Watching you walk away as I simply sit
And work through the pain with just teeth to grit
And buckle down on the script I've so often writ of my dying fits

We're moving on the the eighteenth now
Yet another sequel to how I skipped town
Only now all that burden is just on me
This is my thing, my so-called dream, what I've chosen to be
c'est-la-vie, I'll see you soon again I hope
I pray all you motherfuckers know I think you're dope
I hope all you motherfuckers know I love you most
Do not ever think I left because I hate you, nope
I'm just broken, unfit to fit in, a villain
And chillin' just ain't in the bag for a big bad
I gotta chase thick chicks and fat stacks
Like the scumbag that I am, that's Conrad
My big fat heart, it exists to bleed
My Ghibli tears, they were meant to stream
And I don't need you to love me back
Only need you to be sure my love is fact

I only know how to do one thing
To speak what I feel, hope it's interesting
And that you will keep listening
Thinking what I do is neat
Remembering what I bring
Out of you that you would be
Lesser to yourself if these
Feelings weren't accessible
If you had no vessel to
Feel the things you wanted to
Know yourself in other ways
That weren't imaginable
See yourself as something more
Even if intangible
I want to be in your thoughts
I want to be in your hearts
I fear being left behind
I fear being left to rot
I am not a perfect friend
I am not a perfect God
I am gonna let you down
I can't promise that I'm not
Gonna hurt you very much
I could tear your heart to shreds
I might leave you bleeding, dead
I may just fuck up your head
You can do the same to me
Long as you don't leave me be
Fuck me up and kill me please
Take me with you to the sea
...wherever I'll be