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ROGUE ALIEN PET

by Trial of the Golden Witch

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The Golden Witch
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1.
PLANET HEARSE 01:51
lyrics
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BORN DUMB, AND I'VE ONLY GOTTEN STUPIDER-- WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS, MEN FROM MARS, AND I'M FROM JUPITER. CUPID LET ME BORROW SEVEN ARROWES, AND I LOOSED THEM ALL; SORROW UNBECOMING, SO I STOP THE FALL; START THE CRAWL. RED SPARROWE ON THE WIND, THIS HARROWING SIN LEFT ME SO APPALLED: ANYONE CAN BUY THE MALL NOW; IT'S BOARDED, BARRED AND SCRAWLED WITH URBAN TEXTURES; FIXTURES MEASURED IN THEIR HUMAN POPULATION: EMPTY STATIONS BUILT TO HOUSE AN EMPTY NATION. PLANET HEARSE, THIS CURSED VERSE WILL SUMON DEMONS. EVIL IS THE MISSION AND I'M SCHEMIN'--PLOTTIN' HOW TO GET MY ROTTEN MISSIVE INTO YOUR BRAIN AND CONVINCE YOU THAT YOU'RE INSANE!! I'M THE BANE OF YOUR EXISTENCE, BECAUSE I'M SO CONVINCING; MY ARGUMENT'S INTENSIVE--MY HEART GOT WATER HISSING. I'M PLAIN OLD FUCKIN' BRILLIANT; BELOVED BY THE MILLIONS AND HATED BY THE BILLIONS; MY PAIN BECOME A BUSINESS. MY LANE IS ALWAYS OPEN, SO I ALWAYS CHOOSE MY SPEED, AND MY HEART IS ALWAYS OPEN, SO I FIND WHAT I NEED. I'M THE RIGHT THING AT THE RIGHT TIME WHEN YOU NEED TO RECLINE WITH A FEELING SUBLIME--WITH A SPIRIT DIVINE! YOU KNOW HOW YOU'RE INSANE...
2.
BELLE OF THE BALL 01:09
lyrics
SHE HELLA TALL, BUT SHE STILL MY SHAWTY! BELLE OF THE BALL WHEN SHE SKULL THAT 40. HOLD ME; LIFT ME IN THE AIR AND THROW ME. OWN ME. IF YOU GOT A PACKAGE, SHOW ME! WHOA, ME! THAT'S A LOT OF BAGGAGE YOU'RE HOLDING! LEAVE IT BY THE TRACKS, COME AND STACK THIS MOANING! ROAMING ALL OVER THE LAND WITH THE HOMIE, AND I GIVE 'EM HEAD 'CAUSE I KNOW HE'LL BONE ME!! ROLL ME FIFTY BLUNTS LIKE I'M SNOOP WHILE YOU DO ME DOGGYSTYLE; PITHY GRUNT, HIKER BOOTY GROOVIN' TO THE IDLEWILD WHILE WE OUT IN IDYLLWILD, SMIKIN' ON SOME WILD, GROUND WEED ON THE SCENE; EATING, DRINKING, MAKING LOUD SOUNDS. WAKING UP THE WHOLE TOWN; ROLLING OUT TO GHOST TOWNS; TURNIN' UP THE HO SOUNDS; CHOWIN' ON A GROUND ROUND; HABANERO KETCHUP... FUCKIN' GOT ME MESSED UP!!
3.
ABSOLUTE ZERO 01:16
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HERE COME THE WORST THING TO HAPPEN TO RAP SINCE BEN SHAPIRO! DON'T FEAR THE SNOW, THIS IS ABSOLUTE ZERO! THE HERO OF THE VILLAINS I'M HIGH AND FUCKIN' CHILLIN' BEER BY THE STOVE, OR GRILLIN' JUST LET ME COOK!! GOT MY TEETH ALL CROOKED, GOT MY EYES ALL RED PLAY BY NO ONE'S BOOK, IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD BABBLE LIKE A BROOK, BAKE UNTIL I'M BREAD I AM NOT A CROOK, LIKE THE BAD MAN SAID! THEY HATE 'CAUSE I'M A CHICK WITH A DICK; BUT THEY LOVE ME WHEN IT'S ALL IN THEY LIPS! I'M A SWAGGIN DRAGON OLD, SO I'M HAGGIN' WON, SO I'M BRAGGIN' USED TO BE A HAS-BEEN GRABBING DOLLARS BY THE POUND, BY THE YEN, BY THE SHEKEL FILL A WAGON, ALL THE GRAIN I RAKE WHEN I HECKLE WHAT I'M BAGGIN': $50K I IMAGINE A MONTH WHEN I BET ON MY HUNCH I'M A FAG BITCH QUEEN AND I CARRY THAT GREEN SO YOU KNOW THAT I MEAN WHAT I SING WHEN I'M GAGGIN'!
4.
CUMBERLAND GAP 01:32
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I BEEN CRUISING ALONG THIS LIFE WHEN I GET HUNGRY, I JUST BITE TAKE WHAT IT TAKE TO STAY ALIVE AND GIVE IT BACK TO ALL MY GUYS AND GALS AND NON-BINARIES WHATEVER CARD YOU CARRY, STASH IT THAT'S MY GIFT TONIGHT PICK FOUR, AND MAKE IT A FLIGHT WHEN I SWIPE, I TAKE IT ALL WITH ME HANDS SO STICKY HOW'D I END UP WITH THIS BEAT? CAN'T KEEP LIFTING SO I KEEP SHIT IN-HOUSE WHERE I MAKE HISTORY FIND ME AT CUMBERLAND GAP IN A DRESS AND A SUNHAT HIKING UP AND DOWN THE PATHS OR IN THE PRIUS, DOING DABS FIND A LITTLE LADY IN THE SHADE IN THE PARK AND SAY, "HEY NIÑA, LET'S STAY 'TILL DARK!"
5.
CAVALCADE PROSE 01:48
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TETRAGRAMMATON WITH THE HAMMER ON ALWAYS GRAMMAR WRONG, CLENCHING STAMMER JAW EYE IN THE PANOPTICON, BRINGER OF THE RAGNAROK YGGDRASSILLIN SLANG IS DRIPPIN' FROM THE MAW, THROW YOUR FLANNELS OFF- GRAB A FIFTH AND WALK INTO THE LABYRINTH GIANT SPLIFF, LISTENING TO PITHY SHIT THAT OTHERS SPIT AND THEN I MIX IN IT'S TRIXIE GOLDIEWITCH AT YOUR SERVICE WITH ANOTHER HIT MALEVOLENT TO THE OPPOSITION--DON'T RELENT BENEVOLENT TO THE HOMIES TO MY BENEFIT NOT HEAVEN-SENT, THIS THAT DEEP, DARK, DEVIL SHIT THAT MARKS THE SKIN, SPLLING THE BLOOD WITHIN OBSTINATE FLOWS FOR YOU OPULENT HOES CONSUMMATE PRO WITH THE CAVALCADE PROSE CATTLE-PROD VOCABULARY, BABY, I'M A HERDER THOUGHT YOU HEARD THE WORD, BUT I TELL YA MINE IS WORDER!! MURDER MURDER IN A PINK STRETCH-HUMMER MAKE IT A COLD-ASS HOT GIRL SUMMER IN THE MINK RIGHT NEXT TO THE GUNNER I WINK AND ANOTHER SHOT RINGS IN THE GUTTER BLINK TWICE IF YOU'RE WAITING FOR A RESCUE I'LL CATCH UP TO THE TRAIN BECAUSE TODAY I WORE MY BEST SHOES DANCING IN THE RAIN AND SINGING SLANG INSIDE THE VESTIBULE FIND ME AND YOU'RE AT THE FESTIVAL MY LIFE ME, CIRCA 1991 AND I'VE ONLY JUST BEGUN STARTING TO HAVE FUN NOW I'M ON THE RUN RIGHT INTO MY FUTURE JOIN THE CREW OR EAT DIRT, YA LOSER!
6.
SOLVE MY STRESS 01:25
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RIDE A BEAT LIKE A BIG DICK PETITE CHICK BULGING AT THE BELLY WHEN MY BUTT SPLIT CUPPED TITS GRIPPED TIGHTLY WHEN THE CUM HITS SUB RIPS THRU WHILE YOU DO ME OFF THE RUM SIPS HUM THIS TUNE WHILE YOU SCREW, AND GO HARDER PART HHER BODY, LITTLE SHAWTY, LIKE A MARTYR START HER WATER GETTIN' DRIPPY LIKE A FAUCET SLAP THAT ASS AT THE MOMENT SHE DROPS IT BLAST THAT BRASS, SEXY SAX, I SWEAT KISS ON MY NECK, MAKE A FIST 'ROUND MY CHEST GRIP ON YOUR SHAFT, YEAH THAT DICK'S THE BEST BOUNCE ON THE BALLS 'TILL THEY SOLVE MY STRESS SOLVE MY STRESS LEMME JUST ATTEST THAT I GET THE BEST DICK FEELIN' TRULY BLESSED THAT I GET THE BEST DICK I LICK I SUCK I FUCK I CUP THE BALLS AND SWALLOW I'M A REAL TOUGH ACT TO FOLLOW I CONTORT, DISTORT, COMFORT, AND HOLD THE FORT I'M NOT TALL OR SHORT, BUT I'M SMALL AND WARPED WALK AROUND IN TINY SHORTS WHEN IT'S WARM AND XS TEES SKINNY BITCH, YOU CAN PUT MY KNEES BEHIND MY HEAD GRIND THE SPRINGS OFF MY BED PACK A HUGE COCK IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD AND SOLVE MY STRESS
7.
THE HONEY 01:39
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BLESSED WITH INTELLIGENCE THAT'S WHY I LIVE WITHOUT LIMITS AND WHEN I SPIT YOU LISTEN IN TO HEAR THE LESSONS SAID WITHIN MY MANIC FITS OF INSPIRATION GUIDE THE STATIONS AND THE PENS PINS AND NEEDLES IN MY SKIN AND DRIVEN STAKES THRU BOTH MY HANDS I NEVER WAS AND NO, WILL NEVER EVER BE THE MAN I'M A SUPERVILLAIN KILLER CLEVERLY CONCEALING PLANS I'M THE EVIL VOICE INSIDE YOUR HEAD THAT WANTS YOU TO ADVANCE REALIZE ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS ARE DEAD AS YOU EXIT THE TRANCE I NEVER HAD AN ADVANCE OR A BUDGET BUT I'VE GOT A HUGE CATALOG BECAUSE, FUCK IT I CAN RAP BETTER BROKE THAN YOU CAN WITH MONEY I'M THE FUCKIN' BEA, THEY COME TO ME TO GET THE HONEY! FUNNY HOW I BODY EVERYONE ON EVERY TRACK I FEATURE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON WITH A BOX OF GOON AND A BLUETOOTH SPEAKER DOUBLE-FEATURE WITH MY OTHER PERSONALITY FINISH HIM, THIS BAR IS THE FATALITY! SHE'S A DEVOUT RHYME SLANTER SHE 'BOUT THE BANTER NO ACCOUNT FOR CANDOR NO AMOUNT OF SLANDER COULD BE DAUNTING TO THE DANCER PRANCER IN THE FIELDS WEARING ZERO SHIELDS HERO WHEN REVEALED BRUISED BANANA PEELED QUESTIONS WHAT YOU FEEL ARE YOU REALLY REAL? ARE YOU REALLY REAL? I BELIEVE IN SOME OF US, I'M NOT SO SURE ABOUT THE OTHERS IF I'M FEELING SMOTHERED, CUT THRU THEM LIKE BUTTER I'M A HOT-ASS KNIFE, RIFE WITH A LIST OF DRUTHERS YOU DO NOT CLASS HIGHLY ENOUGH TO CALL ME MOTHER BUT YOU STILL JUST A BABY NEED HELP? THEN CALL ME MAYBE SLEEP WELL AND SKIP THE GRAVY THIS THE HONEY
8.
MOST 02:41
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I DON'T LIKE TOO MANY BITCHES, SO I KEEP IT CLOSE I LIKE WAY TOO MANY PLACES, SO IM COAST-TO-COAST THEY SAY THAT YOU DO TOO MUCH; I SAID "I DO THE MOST!" THISSAT T, R, I, X, I.E. THE FUCKIN' GOAT, YO! TRIXIE ON SOME OTHER SHIT TRIAL OF THE GOLDEN WITCH HOLDIN' THIS BITCH HOSTAGE IN THE MOSH PIT COP THIS FLOW FEEL YOUR HEAD GET KNOCKED IN LOCKED IN: TARGETS IN THE SCOPE GONNA BLOW! GONNA BLOW! NO I DON'T MEAN TO PEEL YOUR SKIN BACK BUT THE CLICK-CLACK OF THE HI-HAT LIKE A GAT-GAT BLASTIN' ON THE BACKSPIN' OF THE CLASSIC TRAP SHIT THAT I SIT HERE MAXXIN' LIMP BIZKIT WHEN I'M RELAXIN' SLIP INTO A SLIPKNOT WHEN I NEED ACTION I'M A ZILLAKAMI NEVER CALMLY ON A MIC GETTIN' ROUGH LIKE A GRUFF ROB ZOMBIE! I'M PROBABLY PLOTTING MY DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN IN THE GREY VAN BY THE CAVE AND WAVING TO THE DAY ONE FANS AND THE HUMDRUM BANDS I MADE IN MY MISTAKE WAKES I'M A KILLA CAKE, I'M A DEEP FAKE, I'M A SCENE QUAKE I SHAKE LIKE WAY TOO MUCH, AND SO I'MMA MAKE A FUSS, I'MMA MAKE IT UP I'M INVINCIBLE, I'M VICTORIOUS, AND IT'S GLORIOUS! I BEEN A RAP GEEK SINCE AROUND WHEN I WAS 9 WHEN MISSY GOT HER FREAK ON T. REQUEST LIVE TIMBALAND, LUDACRIS, LIL KIM ON THE VIBE WAS A LADY MARMALADE WAY BEFORE I HAD A JOB THE REAL SLIM SHADY WAS LIKE MY BABY BOOK I LEARNED MORE THAN HOOKS AND THE NOOKS AND CRANNIES UP IN MY BRAIN WERE FILLED UP WITH THE FLOW FROM "FORGOT ABOUT DRE" THIS IS WHEN JAY-Z AND DMX WERE GOIN' CRAZY AND KANYE WEST WAS A LITTLE BABY AND I COULD RECITE THE WHOLE POKERAP I STILL COP TO THAT FOR REAL AND LINKIN PARK TAUGHT ME BREATH CONTROL, REST IN PEACE TO MY HERO, CHESTER!
9.
ALL I DO IS GO HAM 02:16
lyrics
STRAIGHT CIS BITCH DICKED DOWN BY A TRANS DYKE STRIPPED IN THE MOONLIGHT SCRATCHING AND BARKING AND BITE, BITE BITE--ALL TRIFE IGNIGHT, IGNIGHT, IGNIGHT, AND GET A LIFE! ARCHING THE BACK, GOTTA ARC, SWING IT BACK LIKE THE ST. LOUIS ARCH, REALLY MARCHING IT BACK REALLY SMACKING THE SACK REALLY HARKENING TRACK AFTER TRACK OF ATTACK AND ATTACK AND ATTACK GROWING WINGS WILL RIP THE SKIN OFF YOUR BACK YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO HUNT, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO ACT, BEAST WRAP THESE LEGS 'ROUND YOUR WAIST, LEMME RIDE, LEMME SLAM THAT DICK IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD WHILE I BLAST MY JAM!! ALL I DO IS GO HAM ALL I DO IS GO HARD AS A MOTHAFUCKA, Y'ALL! ALL I DO IS SLAM DANCE ALL I DO IS KICK JAMS ALL I DO IS ADVANCE ALL I DO IS SMOKE WEED ALL I DO IS EAT YAMS ALL I DO IS PEEP GLANCE ALL I DO IS REAP PLANS ALL I DO IS TOKE TREE I DON'T NEED TO BE FAST I DON'T NEED TO BE CRASS BUT I HAVE A SWEET ASS SO I DROP IT ON BEAT WHEN I'M DOING MY DANCE WHEN I RUIN MY PANTS WHNE YOU GIMME THAT GLANCE KNOW YOU GOT WHAT I NEED!
10.
MASSIVE WITCH HAT 01:30
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YOU WOULD THINK WE'RE SCOOBY-DOO AND CARMEN SANDIEGO, WAY THEY ALWAYS ASKIN' 'WHERE WE AT?' I'LL BEAT YOUR DUDE IN HALO LAUGH AT HIM AND TELL HIM HE'S A FAG I DON'T GOT NO HALO JUST A FUCKIN' MASSIVE WITCH HAT BRINGIN' RAGE BACK, YEAH, 'CAUSE I MISS THAT!! WHERE THE BITCH AT? ASKIN' LIKE I'M MARIO JUDAH BRACE FOR IMPACT!! REVY TWO-HAND WITH THE SHOOTERS BRRATT!! BRRATT!! BRRATT!! ANYBODY TRYIN'A FOLLOW, SUITOR COPY, IMITATE, CONSUMER HER THEY GON' MAKE ME PROVE THE RUMORS I'M SITTIN' ON YOUR BRAIN JUST LIKE A TUMOR EAT THE PUSSY OUT AND THEN I CALL THAT BITCH AN UBER LIKE I'M DENZEL CURRY RAP JUST LIKE I'M IN A HURRY 'CAUSE IM RUNNING TO THE TOP BOSS RUSH, LIKE FURI THIS IS FOR MY FURRIES AND MY ANIME CHICKS GROWING ANIME TITS LICKING ANIME DICKS AND BANGIN' THEM HITS FROM THE GOLDEN WITCH ALL DAY, 'CAUSE YOU KNOW THAT DATS THAT BITCH!!! HELL YEAH! BREAK A SPEAKER OFF A CON HALL CEILING JUST OFF RAW FEELING Y'ALL GOTTA FUCKIN' FEEL ME I'M RAW, I'M REALLY NOT FRONTIN' I'M TOUCHIN' MYSELF ON-STAGE AND I MIGHT BE FUCKIN' CUMMIN'!! GOT A MASSIVE WITCH HAT AND YOU CAN'T TEACH THAT I'M A CLASSIC, MASSIVE HIT TO THE SACK I'M A BIG FUCKIN' DEAL I'M A FULL-COURSE MEAL BEAT A DEAD HORSE BACK TO LIFE AND RIDE INTO THE FIELD!!!
11.
SIMMERING 01:33
lyrics
THEY TOLD ME "SIMMER DOWN!" "YOU'RE AT A TEN, WE NEED YOU AT A TWO" LIKE A STEW, I'LL SIMMER ALL DAY UNTIL YOU LOVE THE TASTE I GET BASTED, AND I GET BAKED I GET STUFFED, AND I GET IN YOUR FACE!! I'MMA RIOT ALL SUMMER LONG EVERY CITY, EVERY SONG (AND YOU SING IT WITH ME!) I'MMA BUY IT AT ANY COST EVEN IF I HAVE TO BECOME A GOD (YOU CAN MAKE IT WITH ME!) WHY I FEEL 'LL MAKE YA WEEP THEY TOLD ME CALM YOURSELF, DON'T BOMB YOURSELF, YOU KEEP IT STRONG YOU BACK UP ON THOSE FEET, YOU DON'T RETREAT YOU MUST REPEAT YOURSELF INSISTENTLY AND YOU MUST BEAT THE BEAT TO BEAT THE SCREED INTO THE STREETS AND MOVE YOUR FEET, 'CAUSE BULLETS COMIN' GOTTA DODGE 'EM, 'FORE THEY CATCH YA RUNNIN' Y'ALL MOTHAFUCKAS SLOW!!
12.
FLIGHT 00:53
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HOW THE FUCK DO I EXIST?! I DON'T RAP FOR NOTHIN', TAKIN' MONEY BY THE FISTFUL IN A FIT OF RAGE, EACH PAGE IS JUST A PISTOL BLOWING UP MY BRAINS FOR A VISUAL LISTENING FOR RICHNESS IN THE SOUL SO I CAN TRANSLATE MEANING THAT WILL MANDATE MY EXISTENCE IN YOUR MINDSTATE I'VE WAITED TOO LONG FOR YOU TO TELL ME WHAT I CAN DO NOW YOU FOLLOW ME BECAUSE I LOOK COOL WHAT I DO IS MOSTLY IN MY HEAD, THO IF YOU COPY WHAT YOU SEE, YOU'RE GONNA END UP DEAD, BRO DRUGS, SEX, MONEY, FOOD, I BARELY SCRATCH THE SURFACE EVERYTHING I DO IS FOR A PURPOSE TELL ME YOUR WORTH UP-FRONT AND LET'S PIMP IT GET THE WHOLE WORLD SIMPIN' I AIN'T TRIPPIN'--I STAY TRIPPIN' NEVER HIT THE GROUND--THAT'S CALLED FLIGHT

about

There was this Primus/Coheed co-headliner tour coming thru VA that I couldn't afford to see, so I found myself weeping over proggy grunge at the same time I was putting together a hip-hop album. Whoops.

Progressive Grunge-hop? Hip-space grunge?

The first third is a kind of Alien Pop-Hop, midsection is wavier, more lyrically-driven Old-School Meme Rap, and the last section is like Hardcore Punk-Hop or Post-Hard-Grunge-hop maybe? The whole thing is definitely Cringecore tinged with Nerdcore.

...Nu-post-hardcore?

Outsider music, grimy lo-fi production, overpowering vocal presence, hypersexual themes, violent imagery, lots of love for the greats that inspired it, and, more than anything, exploding with energy. Guest intros, bassline on The Honey and keys on Cumberland Gap by DCMD (Don't Call Me Dave).

Inspired by Trixie's adventures across the United States with her partner, Bird Storc (who took the cover photo), over the last two years, including a lot of time in the South-Western desert, forested National Parks, and of course, their Kentucky home base near Cumberland Gap. Finding a new lease on life, Trixie delivers some of her most ferociously self-empowering, outlandishly braggadocios and over-the-top-horny lyrics to date (which is really saying something).

credits

released April 4, 2024

Lyrics, vocals and production on all tracks by Trixie the Golden Witch
Intros, bass on The Honey, keys on Cumberland Gap by DCMD
Cover photo by Bird Storc

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Trial of the Golden Witch Norfolk, Virginia

The Transgressive Transgender Terrorist Taking Things Totally Tantrum, Turning Tens To Thousands, Telling Truths Totalizing, Trembling Towards Terrific Things, Thankful, Tyrant

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